Boromir's Bogus Journey
by destinysgypsy
Summary: Boromir reflects. Just letting my sarcastic evil twin have her say.


Ok sometimes ya gotta cut loose and be sarcastic about it all.

I will never come close to Ms Cassie Claires journals and I would never even attempts to. This drabble is just the result of too much work and not enough play on my own part.

Don't own Boromir..oh but what I could do to him if I did.

Boromir's Bogus Journey

Day one: Got knocked off by some orcs today. Really ugly things with bad haircuts and in need of a bath Got me while my back was turned… cheap shot..

Fancy that, never been dead before. Bet I can do it better than anyone. Strider, Aragorn or whatever he is calling himself this week took care of things, but not in time so here I am floating around watching them. Hey…is that me in that boat? And who broke the horn of Gondor? Boy my dad's gonna be pissed!

Hey, Aragorn who told you that you could have my bracers?

Day 5. This is rather smashing. I get a birds eyes view of everything. Hey Frodo you arent still pissed about that little tussle in the woods are ya? I got your back and looks like Gollum does too cause he's been following you. See he wants the ring too. It wasn't just me, so like hoping we are cool. Ya know Sams ok.. even if he plants posies for a living, Still say ya should have given me the ring…longer walk to Mordor and I could have kicked Gollum's ass.

Day 7; Haha look at the dwarf trying to keep up with them! OK how come Legolas hair still looks washed and Aragorn looks like he's been rode hard and put up wet? Ya know he really rather fetching, all rugged like that…. OH GOD WHAT am I thinking?

Hey I'm still pissed about the bracers.

Day8: knew the little ones would handle it. Tough fellows.. Got themselves out of that jam and now riding around on the Ent.. What a way to travel, eh? Watch out for termites!

Day ten: Ew Theodens looking kinda rough. Think I used to look like that the morning after too much ale at the pub. Tough about Theodred though..he did look a bit young to be out there. A nice sendoff though. Hey, who's the babe?

Gandalf you rock. OK so what happened between you and the Balrog anyway? You fell into the abyss and came up all clean and shiny…

Way to get rid of that slime ball Grima too.

Day 13

Hey its Baby bro! Sorry I got to go to Rivendell and you had to stay behind with Mr Pleasant. But I did get killed and all. Watch out for that skinny one… the one that runs around naked.. Gotta wonder about a chap like that.

Hey Faramir, be cool.. Dad doesn't need the ring anyway. He already has the Palantir of the white Tower. Besides I think the nazguls intend on raining on your parade anyway.

Ya know are a great negotiator…but I was always the better soldier.

Day 15.

WOOHOO! Way to go Tree-dudes!

Day 23

OK Aragorn stop leadin the chick on. You know she has the hots for ya. Maybe its that no bath look. Still want to know how much hairspray Legolas uses.

Hey Gimli… if sometimes ya cant tell the difference between dwarf women and dwarf men….. God can't even think about that one…

I am still pissed about the bracers

Day 34.

Damnit dad. You really are a jerk. The little guy would be better as court jester maybe .And about my brother, you at least could have given him my room.and ya know what?  
What the heck you doin wearing a fur coat anyway? Don't you know its summer?

I never did like you.. Just kissed your butt cause you paid a good allowance,

Day 41.

Lets hear it for the horse-chick and that halfling! OK not even gonna ask how no one noticed the chick in the front of the battle field killing Angmar! Not even gonna ask how nobody noticed a 3 foot hobbit runnin around either.

Day42.. So these are the houses of healing… not that anyone thought of getting me here.

Woohoo way to go little bro! She's a babe!

So uncool Aragorn.. Estel… elessar….whatever…you heal them and you just offer to pull an arrow out of me and steal my bracers. Nice of you to get her fixed up and all after you broke her heart.

Day 45:

Ok, so man of way too many names gets to be king. Nice of him to take a bath and all esp after kissing that horse when he fell off the cliff.

Heck legolas what IS that thing on your head?

Ok so my brother gets the babe and here I am floating around middle earth getting nothing… Somehow that's a strange twist of fate.

Hey it's the little guys!Three cheers!

Oh great.,. Aragrorn even gets the elf chick. Sh'es not bad… though I wouldn't be kissing him after he kissed that horse.

Oh and Aragorn…where the heck are my bracers


End file.
